


When You're Gone

by LoveFandoms828



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: A comforting hug, Angst, Anything but roses, Bromance & slight romance, But Tony is there for him like always, Clay is hurting inside, Crying, Emotional, F/M, Flowers, Ghost!Hannah, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love for a dead girl, M/M, Sad, Silence, Tears, Thinking About Her, Visiting her grave, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-28 07:45:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18752059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveFandoms828/pseuds/LoveFandoms828
Summary: ‘I'm so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave. I wish that you would just leave. 'Cause your presence still lingers here. And it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase. I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me. You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind. Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me. These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase. I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along. When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. You still have all of me, me, me..’Clay seemed to not be able to get over Hannah or the fact that she's gone. His mind was faded, all of his thoughts about her. He let tears fall down from his blue eyes, sadness in his heart.





	When You're Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Songs that inspired this one-shot ~  
> My Immortal - Evanescence  
> When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne 
> 
> 'I always needed time on my own. I never thought I'd need you there when I cry. And the days feel like years when I'm alone. And the bed where you lie. Is made up on your side. When you walk away. I count the steps that you take. Do you see how much I need you right now? When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missin' you. When you're gone, the face I came to know is missin' too. When you're gone, the words I need to hear. To always get me through the day. And make it okay. I miss you. I've never felt this way before. Everything that I do. Reminds me of you. And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor. And they smell just like you. I love the things that you do. When you walk away, I count the steps that you take. Do you see how much I need you right now? When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missin' you. When you're gone, the face I came to know is missin' too. When you're gone, the words I need to hear. To always get me through the day. And make it okay. I miss you. We were made for each other. Out here forever. I know we were. Yeah, yeah. And all I ever wanted was for you to know. Everything I do, I give my heart and soul. I can hardly breathe; I need to feel you here with me. When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missin' you. When you're gone, the face I came to know is missin' too. When you're gone, the words I need to hear. Will always get me through the day. And make it okay. I miss you.'

Clay was in his room, laying on the bed. His back against it, as he is staring at the ceiling.

 

He's deep in his thoughts. Lately, it seemed like he was always thinking. Especially about her.

 

Clay was still sad and not over Hannah's death, that she's actually gone. Never to come back. In his life.

 

But, strangely enough, he felt like she was still there with him. He just couldn't see or hear Hannah.

 

It was like Hannah was a ghost, a spirit now.

 

That Clay could only feel was there, that her presence was with him.

 

Maybe it was just the sadness getting to him again. He had hope that it was different. That he wasn't going insane.

 

He was hesitant to talk to anyone about it, especially Tony. Even if he trusts him, Clay didn't want Tony to think that he was crazy.

 

Clay sighed softly, as he snapped out of it.

 

He reached over, grabbing what he had borrowed from Tony. He puts a cassette tape in. He was putting his headphones on as well. He pushed that button as it started playing a song.

 

It was the one from that winter dance. This song was what him and Hannah slow danced to, in that night. It was given to him by Tony himself.

 

Clay closed his eyes, as he remembered everything that happened with Hannah, good and bad. He tried not to cry about her. Not again.

 

Eventually, as that song ended, he was falling asleep. It was peaceful and quiet, in the dark, without nightmares or dreams. His breathing just as calm and silent.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 

**Two days later, in the evening now -**

 

Clay went and visited Hannah's grave, again finally. He was hesitating a lot, those last few weeks, on going there.

 

Until he eventually did, and now here he was, standing in front of her grave.

 

Her grave had a headstone now, which was made for Hannah.

 

Clay stayed there. His stare on it, for awhile.

 

He puts down a bouquet of different flowers, that he had made for her. It had everything, except roses, anything for that type of flower. He knew that she hated roses, they were too cliche after all. These flowers are put near the stone, engraved with her name. 'Hannah Baker, Beloved Daughter and Friend’.

 

After that, he sat down on the ground. He wanted to say something. Anything. But no words came out of his mouth, nor past his lips.

 

He just had a look in his blue eyes, filled with sadness, that seems never ending. He starts gazing into nothingness. Like it would ease his heart somehow. When it didn't.

 

Clay bit his lower lip, to keep from screaming in his sorrow. He also held in each tear threatening to fall and break him. His already broken soul.

 

He snaps out of these thoughts, as he heard the familiar noise of Tony's red mustang driving by. He knew that his friend’s eyes of darkening brown hues are on him, but he doesn't turn around.

 

Clay stays where he is, hearing as Tony stopped the car and gets out. His footsteps hitting gravel and freshly cut grass, walking over to the other male sitting there, near that grave whom they all knew belonged to.

 

Tony didn't say anything, as he sat down, next to him. On that ground. He saw how his friend looked, with an almost gloomy aura to him.

 

He turned to stare at him, sympathy in his own eyes. He felt so bad for him.

 

Clay was staying there, quietly. He appreciated Tony being there for him. Even if they didn't talk to each other, just taking in the silence between them. Which was nice, to be honest.

 

He was snapping out of his thinking, as he breathed in the cold air and breeze that surrounded these two. He noticed that it would probably rain later. He hoped that it will. Because he loved when it was raining. It was peaceful, in a way, to him.

 

His blue eyes glanced at the grave again. It was nearly too much, he couldn't take it anymore. His vision got blurry, as he was noticing that he was crying, after so long.

 

Clay leaned down, falling apart.

 

Tony gets closer to him and wrapped his arms around his friend. “It's okay. It'll be alright.” he whispered to Clay.

 

Clay stayed in Tony's arms, loving the warmth and comfort from him. It made him feel slightly better, if only a little bit.

 

He was closing his eyes again now. He cried silently, as tears fall down.

 

“Hannah..” he said, mostly to himself. His voice was shaky and quiet again.

 

Tony's heart was almost breaking, after he heard that. His eyes softened. He holds him close, comforting his friend, staying with him.

 

Clay leans against him, as he was comforted by the other male. He takes in a deep breath, not shaking anymore, slowly feeling okay again.

 

A white glow, a slight shining light was behind the tree near them. Although, it seemed like neither of the boys could see this.

 

They didn't even know, had not noticed it.

 

It was Hannah. That shined lightness goes away, as she only looked fading.

 

Hannah just stares at them, although she hadn't faded out.

 

She walked over, standing next to her grave.

 

Hannah was still wearing the long sleeved gray shirt that she had died in. On that fateful yet tragic day.

 

She felt saddened, as she saw how badly they had been hurt by her dying.

 

Hannah was staring at them, sadly, reaching out. Even if, she knew that she couldn't touch these two.

 

She wished they knew that she was still there, with them.

 

Her eyes threatened to spill tears as well, almost crying herself. Her voice came out as a fade of quietness that can't be heard.

 

_“I'm sorry.. Clay, Tony..”_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't seen the second season so I don't know what she had on her tombstone. So I just put what I wanted it to say, hope nobody minds xD & I'm also still sad over Hannah's death, even if she's just a fictional character. This tv show made me all kinds of depressed, but I did like it. Although, it had dark stuff and angst [which I enjoy both of those things, as much as I love fluff], it's a favorite of mine now :) 
> 
> Also, I had to add Tony, I just couldn't envision this one-shot without him. I was originally not going to put him in here, because this was meant to be just about Clay and Hannah. But I thought 'what the hell, why not?’ Because he's always there for his friend, especially when Clay needs him. Anyway, I hope that you all enjoyed and loved reading this, what I had written 💙 
> 
> Edit - I've recently finished watching season 2 and had wrote this before I watched it, btw.


End file.
